In the March 11th SeekersHub Newsletter, we were recommended to watch a lecture by Dr Umar titled “Marriage as a Cosmic Ideal and Social Reality.” Below are a few of the things Dr Umar said that stood out for me.
Important verse to reflect on: Surah Rum, Verse 21: “And among the signs of God is having created mates for you from yourselves that you may feel at home with them, creating love and compassion between you. Surely there are signs in that for people who reflect.” (The Quran: A New Translation by Thomas Cleary)
Mawadda is a special kind of love. A protective kind of love where you care about the future and wellbeing of your spouse. And rahma (mercy) is what makes everything work, what makes everything go.
When Allah speaks about marriage in the Qur’an, He says your wives are a garment for you. They give you beauty, protection, honour, status. And you are a garment for them.
Many scholars say that purpose of marriage is to live together in a good way. To live together in a way that we communicate, respect each other, and have communion between us that is dignified and proper.
When we have that, when a husband and wife relate to each other and understand each other and respect each other, so much good comes out of it.
Mawadda is defensive protection. Special care in a way that is not suffocating, but positive and of mercy and love.
Men and women are guardians of each other. We all have a common fidelity and loyalty to the deen.