Forget about rights, worry about obligations and responsibilities. Go out of your way to fulfill your responsibilities. Think about what can I do, what more can I do? Show sabr (patience) and compassion. The believer expects from their Lord, everyone else will disappoint! Everyone is obsessed with their own rights, we should learn how to excel with our spouse. Show love and mercy – you cannot ask Allah for something and not do anything yourself. Right now we have the careless use of media in the home. Daily Qur’an and adhkar must be part of your daily routine.
~ Wedding Sermon, South Africa, 2016.
As a collaboration between the SeekersHub Toronto, the Muslim Chaplaincy at U of T and the U of T MSA, the Muslim Chaplaincy at U of T offered a course during the Fall of 2014 called Living Light with Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. The sessions I attended were excellent, and left us with much to think about afterwards. Below, notes from one of the sessions.
- Have a daily point of connection to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him
- The sunna is not just general principles, but practical specifics
- The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him would keep in touch with people for decades afterwards
- Part of goodness to parents is goodness to the friends of one’s parents. To be respectful to their friends.
- Have loyalty in relationships
- We often like to study intellectual things but most important knowledge is that that transforms how we worship and how we are with Allah’s creation. We must constantly ask: what is the right action entailed by the right intention and attitude?
- Sometimes to determine this we need to momentarily disengage. When Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him asked the Companions to come out of ihram and they didn’t respond, there is a methodology we can learn in his response.
- a) Disengage (went inside his tent)
- b) Consult when unclear. Sometimes expressing your problem helps to view it correctly (Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him consulted his wife)
- c) Only respond when sure. Don’t say or do anything hastily. Say the good or be silent.
- Good character is manifest when tested
- With couples/any relationship – tell yourself, i don’t want to respond to how I feel and what he/she saying, I want to respond in way pleasing to Allah
- Attitude and then action. Look at your spouse with mercy and love.
- Opposite of love is not hatred, it’s indifference. If motive is to look with mercy, you are seeking the good.
- Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, did not deal with people on the basis of what they said or did, dealt with people on the basis of heart. What is their underlying concerns.
- Have an eye of love and mercy. Have a good opinion of your spouse.
- Relations are a matter of the heart (emotions), they aren’t rational.
- Relationships are connections of the heart, supported by reason.
- Deal with people on the basis of good chraracter.
- The Prophet peace and blessings be upon him, gave us numerous examples – need to renew our connection to him, peace and blessings be upon him.
The Muslim Chaplaincy at U of T runs an amazing weekly discussion circle called Soul Food. Below are notes from one of the sessions this term. Alhamdullilah for spaces to grow and learn with others!
- A true sense of hope is hoping for God’s mercy and working for it.
- When you see a sunset, why do you enjoy it? When you’re with family, what is your response? The response should be thankfulness
- Take advantage of every moment as an advantage of drawing close to God. We are sowing seeds for the akhira (afterlife)
- What is your purpose? Tip: Spend 5 minutes at the end of the day and sit and reflect. Engage in dhikr and quiet.
- Death is around the corner. Allah and eternal bliss is what we should strive for. Death gives you immediacy. Contemplating death allows you to ask the question, where am I going? I’m going somewhere based on what I do here. How do I achieve the goals I have in the best way possible?
- Don’t be attached to results, be attached to God.
- Companions weren’t morbid, they were content with death. Natural to have a fear of the unknown but if have yaqeen, better able to handle things.
- Is what I’m doing, what I’m intending, something I will be glad that I did?
- Seek greater goals. Then everything you do becomes an act of worship.
- A righteous person, funeral is like a wedding. Your perceptions define your experiences.
- Really important to reflect on life. Where are you going? What are we attached to? What are our lives about? People who have a strong sense of this strive to do the most amount of good. Their hearts are full of the things that really matter.
- As attachments to the world decrease, arguments, grudges, backbiting decrease.
- We shouldn’t be small minded people, we should look at the big picture.
- We tend to have shallow communications. We hang out with people, but don’t have deep communications.
- Chicken soup to a neighbour, the greatest act to change the world. Mutual acts of caring performed often forge a sense of belonging. Try to reignite the role of neighbours.